Over the Backyard Fence

Today, my son Luke celebrates his 32nd birthday. How can that be? While I was searching through my blog to find some photos to share, I came upon the following post that I wrote when he was just 13 and Joe was 17. They have both grown up to be strong, kind, loving men. Luke is now the father of four! and I know that he will be well-celebrated by them and his beautiful wife Miranda, today. Oh, I wish I could be there, too!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Spring broke through this week and it is lovely! It's hard to choose just five things when the weather is so gorgeous and all feels right in my world. Linking up with Susanne's Friday Fave Five.

1.  Our neighbor's lilacs -- yesterday I sat on our back patio and breathed in their fragrance while watching my grandkids.  I've mentioned before that our yard was stripped bare of all the old landscaping before we bought the house.  We've planted in the front and are just now getting to landscaping the backyard.  So, I'm all the more grateful for all of our neighbors and their well-established yards with trees and shrubs that I can enjoy over the backyard fence.



2.  Massage -- I was gifted a massage went on Wednesday after work.  It's been over a year since I've had one and I've decided to get a membership which means I'll get at least one a month.  It does so much for my health and well-being.


3.  Some time creating -- I finally got around to covering the seats on the bar stools in the kitchen.  One of those jobs that ended up taking less than an hour. The original fabric was a beige microfiber.  I think this is a lot more fun.


5.  I can't help it, but number 5 is yet another kid/grandkid photo.  With Luke and Miranda in Wisconsin now, I treasure the pictures they send, and Facetime has been a lifesaver;)


Lovely week.  Thank you, Susanne, for hostessing FFF.

This weekend my family was together for the third graduation in as many weeks.  Two of my brothers and I have children who graduated from high school.  It has been a lot of fun, gathering with my family every weekend, and knowing when we said goodbye, it would only be until the next party.  We all live in Colorado, but not in close proximity to one another.  Saturday was a culmination of all the parties and we made a long weekend of it, staying in beautiful Grand Lake.  Here's a photo from the deck of the lodge:

A picture that has been running through my mind is one taken 18 years ago, when the "three amigos" were all less than a year old and we were at a family gathering.  Someone had the idea to sit them in my dad's lap.  There he sat, with arms full of infants, one squriming (Brandi), one looking slightly confused (Luke) and another posing pretty (Elsa).

And here they are today:

All three of them will be attending college with athletic scholarships.  Luke graduated first, two weeks ago.  He is actually the youngest of the three kids, by just a month.  You've heard me gush on about him a lot these past few weeks.  He will be attending Lamar Junior College this fall, playing baseball and studying Criminal Justice.

My niece Brandi (in the middle), the oldest of the three by a couple of months, graduated the next weekend.  She is an awesomely, incredibly fast runner -- lithe, petite, brown-haired and beautiful.  She will be studying business at the University of Tulsa, running track and cross country.

And this weekend, my niece Elsa received her diploma.  She is tall, blonde, brown-eyed and gorgeous. Elsa will be attending the University of New Mexico playing volleyball and pursuing a career in nursing.

They are all three just great kids and I loved being able to celebrate each one.

Just for fun, here's a photo of me with my three brothers.
Mark (Elsa's dad), Andy (Brandi's dad), me, and Matt (father of Tommy, my favorite 6-year-old). I have so many good memories, growing up with these three. And I love that every time we get together, we just keep making more.

And I wonder why my kids procrastinate.  Luke's senior poster is due tomorrow.  This is what I've accomplished so far.

I'm off to Walmart for poster board.

*  Note to Pamela:  SEE!  The big reveal!  I'm not as organized as you think I am;)

Today is the final day of summer vacation, and tomorrow the middle child of  my three kids goes back to school.  One more thing that has me yearning for the 'old days.'  There's no longer just ONE first-day-of-school.  The high schooler starts tomorrow, the middle schooler and the college student go back on Monday.  Although, today IS a social for the middle schooler, who is actually in "junior high" now, since she changed schools this year.

See how complicated my life is???

Aside from trying to keep all of this straight, I'm suffering from an extreme case of not wanting to let go.  I know, I know, anyone in my family reading this right now is shaking his head in disbelief, since I'm the one who hangs the American flag to celebrate the first day(s) of school each fall.  But this year, my middle child is starting his senior year in high school.  Which means that in exactly one year from now, he'll be leaving me.  Forever.  This is the only one of my three children who cried on the first day of Kindergarten because he didn't want me to leave (the other two wanted to drive themselves, and when I insisted on taking them and walking into the classroom with them, it was all they could do not to say, "See ya, Mom, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.")

As weird as this sounds, Middle Child has been a kind of security blanket for me. My first born was the first baby in our family -- first grandchild, first nephew, first everything.  Everyone wanted a piece of him.  By the time, my middle child came along, there were lots of babies to cuddle, so I had him all to myself and he preferred it that way.  He is the child who always made me look good, insisting on staying by my side any time we went out in public, quiet and soft spoken. He is so loyal to me and my sensitivities.  His very presence has always been a comfort to me, from the time I still had him with me when older child went to school, to camp, and finally to college,  and to our cross country trip together when he helped me drive or stayed awake the entire time I was doing the driving.

There is something about this boy, that the thought of him going off to school, far away, just makes me well up and want to sob all day.  Today, he is heading off to the mall to buy some school supplies, and he looked at me just a little weird when I begged to go along and promised him a Happy Meal at McDonald's.  (Although the free lunch did have him hesitate for just a split second).


I promise to savor every moment of the coming school year, and if I get cranky and start to wish a moment or an event to be over. . . someone, anyone, smack me upside the head.

I haven't been doing much blogging of late. Truth be told, I've traded in my laptop for pencil and paper. Now that summer is here, my morning ritual is to have coffee on the back porch and write in my journal, while the kids and the old dog sleep in. Lilly, our puppy of 6 months, is my companion, she's so happy to have someone to keep her company in the back yard.

I've also been suffering from a case of writer's block. It's hard to believe I'm in my third year of blogging. Some days, it seems I've covered just about everything and have nothing left to say. Haha, don't get your hopes up, (you know who you are), I'll always have something left to say!

In the meantime, I've downloaded my camera, and here are some photos of what's been happening Over the Back Yard Fence, since summer started.

Believe it or not. . . these roses are all on the same rosebush. It's called Joseph's Coat and it is growing nicely up a trellis in the back yard.
My daughter decided she wanted a different look for her bedroom, so I took the white antique dresser that looked so cute in her old "cottage style" bedroom, and jazzed it up a bit, painting it a soft aqua.














I LOVE this color. It just makes me so happy, at the top of the landing, right outside my loft. And, yes, we do use the old typewriter. I've found that even kids who think they hate to write, can't resist pounding out a story or rhyme on an old typewriter.

I've been garage saling up a storm on Friday mornings! This old ottoman (five bucks!) is one of my best finds: I'm going to make a slipcover for it with the fabric, which will match the valance and this chair, another garage sale redo:
And, summer wouldn't be summer without lots of baseball. This is Luke, pitching on the field at Colorado School of Mines, his dad's alma mater. Kind of neat when things come full circle.

That's about it for now. How is your summer going?

I should make another to-do list for today and carry over the stuff I didn't get to yesterday. However, my schedule today is dictated by baseball games, so I need to get lunch together in a cooler (pita sandwiches, grapes, iced tea, cookies and a variety of flavored sunflower seeds), pick up Em from VBS, and head over to the fields, where Luke's team has two games today. The weekend schedule depends on if they win or lose the games today, since this is a tournament. Thank goodness it's close to home! I'm not complaining, because I enjoy watching any kind of baseball and our weather is just gorgeous for being outside. Low 70s, blue skies. It's beautiful.

Emily is playing softball again this year and is a catcher. Luke is a pitcher and I enjoy watching both of them play. But, I do have a house to get ready to sell (yeah, we're still at it), so there's much to do around here. Our goal is to have it ready next week (didn't I say that last week?)

Whatever your plans are, have a good weekend, everyone!

Emily behind home plate

On Monday, Luke played a double header out on the eastern plains, where it was 100 degrees and dry as a bone. I'm surprised the boys played as well as they did. I packed a cooler with cold drinks and snacks, and Emily came upon a frog to keep her occupied! After four and a half hours on the baseball field, in the last inning of the second game, the sprinklers came on, giving the players and the fans a cold blast of water! We were relieved -- for the cool mist and that at long last the games were over!




Yesterday, we got to keep my nephew Tommy for the whole day! Luke and Em had a great time with him, at the park, the pool and later the three of them stretched out in front of the TV to watch a movie, and Tommy promptly fell asleep. I should have gotten a picture of that, it was very cute.

Today is Luke's 14th birthday. It's a double milestone because tomorrow he graduates from 8th grade!

This picture says it all. He has been a Ram's fan since the age of 6, much to the chagrin of my father-in-law, a die-hard Broncos fan. We have no idea where the allegiance to St. Louis came from. But it is deep and unwavering, ever typical of Luke's solid and steadfast loyalty.

And, for him, baseball IS life. From the time he was a toddler and threw a beanbag the length of our living room and bulls-eyed a picture over the fire place, he's had an amazing arm. I don't know who was more surprised, me or him, but he was most delighted at what he'd done. I still haven't replaced the glass in the picture.

As my second-born son, I thought I was well-prepared for what another boy would be like. I remember the first time I held him and he looked back at me with a steady gaze. I have to admit I was a bit perplexed, because something was different. My friend, the mother of five, came to see him when he was a few days old, and as though reading my thoughts, she said, "I remember when my second baby was born. You just expect them to be a little miniature of the first, like having the first baby all over again. Which is ridiculous, because every baby is different. And I looked at my second baby and said, 'I don't know you! But I know I love you with all my heart.'" And I knew that I couldn't wait to get to know my new little boy. And he has taught me so many things.

Besides teaching me everything I know about baseball, he's shown me how fun it is to have a favorite sports team. When I couldn't come up with one on my own, he found one for me (the Green Bay Packers), and now I have a favorite baseball team, the Colorado Rockies, of course. He's taught me that strong, determined, head strong little boys also have the softest and most loving hearts. He's taught me that people can be total opposites, but still look up to one another as a hero, the way he looks up to his big brother.

There are some things that I just don't get, but I've learned to accept. Why would you slide into a mud puddle, on your stomach, just for the heck of it? And how is that someone who is so meticulous about his food, who can spot a foreign speck of seasoning from a mile away and won't eat anything that his brother or sister have even looked at, will sleep with a big, black dog who sheds over every inch of his bed? How is it that he can make a 3-point basket, but can't get his socks in the hamper? And how is it that he loves scarey, crash and burn movies, and yet can make me a cup of tea with just the right amount of milk and sugar so it's just the way I like it, and it tastes better than something I would be served at a high tea.

When I see him laughing and joking with my daughter, it reminds me how much fun it was to have a big brother. Big brothers have the best sweatshirts to borrow. They'll always protect you, even if putting you in a wrestling hold is their idea of a good time. They may gross you out, but they know the funniest jokes. By having a big brother my daughter will grow up without the starry-eyed illusions that a lot of girls have about boys. She'll be wise that way!

So, to my 8 lb 1 oz baby boy, who now stands past my shoulder and wears a size 12 shoe, and has an even bigger heart, Happy Birthday, Luke! I love you! xoxoxoxo

Yesterday, I spent some time at one of my favorite places for R&R. They have ergonomically correct loungers, serve unlimited beverages and snacks, and make such a fuss over me. All for just the cost of a couple pints of blood.

My technician yesterday was Crystal. We struck up a conversation and by the time she was ready to poke me with the needle, we already knew that we both have three kids and while mine are 2 boys, then a girl, hers are 2 girls, then a boy, and much younger than my three.

She commented that she and the baby boy have already formed this incredible bond. "Do you think that's possible?" she asked. "I mean, he's only a baby, but he looks at me like I'm the only one who can protect him from all the world. We just KNOW one another. It's different from my girls."

I know just what she means. There's a unique bond between moms and their sons. My sons show me a loyalty that feels warm and cozy like a blanket. Let's face it, girls never forget. My daughter remembers my misdeeds from 1997. She loves me and I adore her, don't get me wrong. But, even at a young age, the relationship between us was volatile.

My boys may get cross with me and I with them, but five minutes later, they're all about, "Hey mom, where's the sports page/milk/my socks." If I mention the upset, they more often than not look surprised that I'm still thinking about it.

My 13-year-old son, without fail, after we say grace at dinner will lean over, give me a kiss on the cheek and say, "Thanks for supper, Mom." First he thanks God, then he thanks his mother. A Jewish mother couldn't feel prouder than I do, at that moment.

My 17-year-old son confided in me that, "You have no idea how much I depend on you. You are the only person in my life that I know will never, EVER, let me down." Wow. "That's a tall order," I said. "But your dad and I will always be here for you."

"Mom." He looked me square in the eye. "Last weekend, Dad did the laundry and when he put it away, he put half of Luke's underwear in my drawer and the other half in your drawer. That's scary. First, that he thinks you and I wear the same kind of underwear. Second, that he thinks we both wear underwear that's the same kind as LUKE's." (Luke likes boxers with crazy prints.)

I think that moms are the only people in boys' lives that they can show their true vulnerability. From the time they are babies, we tend to their needs, soothe their hurts from scraped knees to bruised feelings. From diaper rash to jock itch, as they grow up, they turn to mom to help them through uncomfortable moments. They have to be tough for everyone else. Even when other women come into their lives, they feel they must be the stronger sex. But, as a mom I always see the little boy. Not just the chubby baby, but the young boy who suddenly grew a few inches and more lean, and whose hugs became more "awkward and elbows." I remember how sweet and vulnerable the back of their necks looked after a hair cut or as they knelt down to look at a bug on the ground or play with their toy trucks. The crooked, scrawled letters on a Valentine, professing their love to me.

My articulate, eldest son is very open and we've never had a problem wondering what's on his mind. His younger brother is somewhat quieter. But it's the non-verbals that more often than not just make me thank God for these young men He's placed my life. One day, I overheard my husband talking to his parents on the phone. I was suddenly overwhelmed at how much I missed having similar conversations with my mom. As I worked alone in the kitchen, I found myself crying. Without a word, my two boys appeared, one on each side and just wrapped their arms around me. Finally, Joe asked with such tenderness, "Mom? What is it?"

"I just miss Grandma," I said. And they hugged me tighter.

Yep, they're my boys.